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Author Topic: JOKE OF THE DAY  (Read 3364 times)

Offline TRR

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JOKE OF THE DAY
« on: March 20, 2014, 08:29:54 AM »
A young man at this construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone based on his strength. He especially made fun of one of the older workman. After several minutes, the older worker had enough.
"Why don't you put your money where you mouth is?" he said. "I'll bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to the other building that you won't be able to wheel back."
"You're on, old man," the young man replied. "Let's see what you've got."
The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then nodding to the young man, he said with a smile, "All right. Get in."


ALWAYS LOOKING FOR ANYTHING RELATED TO THE 38TH INFANTRY REGIMENT

ERIK A. KASSEL
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Offline Tom E. Gunn

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #1 on: April 16, 2014, 11:38:19 AM »
This one is topical as it has an Easter theme:

John "Duke" Wayne was cast as The Centurion in the classic biblical blockbuster, "The Greatest Story Ever Told". When filming the crucifixion scene, "the Duke" had to gaze up at Christ and say the line...."Truly, this is the son of God". The cameras rolled...the Duke uttered his line...and the director yelled "Cut!!....No, no, no John. You gotta say it with awe!"

The cameras rolled again. The Duke looked up at Christ on the cross, and said...."Awwww, truly this is the son of God."

"He who dares, wins!"

Offline kabar

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #2 on: September 04, 2014, 04:55:23 AM »
There is a man watching TV one night and hears a knock at the door...

He opens the door, only to find a snail on the mat...

He picks up the snail and throws it across the road...

5 years later, he hears the same knock at the door...

He opens the door and sees the snail...

The snail looks up at him and says..."What the hell was that all about"???

Offline Propwash

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #3 on: October 07, 2014, 02:46:37 PM »
Why do women wear makeup and perfume?

..........cause they are ugly and they smell bad.
Always on the lookout for USAAF flight gear and anything pertaining to the Aleutians Campaign.

Offline littlebuddy

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #4 on: October 08, 2014, 11:35:34 AM »
Why do women wear makeup and perfume?

..........cause they are ugly and they smell bad.


 :o :o ;D ;D
2017 and STILL WANTED! a pair of RAF 1940 Patt boots
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Starting to look for the harder to find items e.g. survival kits and items also woukd like to add a complete "Gibson Girl " set up
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Offline Peter Koeleman

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #5 on: October 16, 2014, 11:41:48 AM »
A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

Offline ccfc

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #6 on: June 09, 2016, 03:11:06 PM »
Got sent this by a colleague this week and thought I'd share

Drafting Guys Over 65.

I am over 65 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards.
Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a month, leaving us more than 280,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill some angel that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while..

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push-ups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy too... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18 year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with bad attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.

HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes??
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!

Send this to all of your senior friends...it's in big type so they can read it.

Offline Kohima

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #7 on: June 09, 2016, 04:39:01 PM »
Wow !  I'm a Super Soldier and didn't even know it.




Old Kold Kranky Kohima
On the edge of a tennis court far, far from home, the Sgt. shouted: Son, pass me a grenade !  The Battle of Kohima. Naga Hills, 1944.

Valhalla I am coming !........Led Zeppelin

Offline Tom E. Gunn

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #8 on: June 09, 2016, 10:54:30 PM »
Where do I sign?!  ;D
"He who dares, wins!"

Offline Air Ministry

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #9 on: June 09, 2016, 11:03:43 PM »
A man and his wife walk into a tattoo parlour and the man says, can you do me a tattoo of the most beautiful woman in the world, no problem says the tattooist, where do you want it, on my wife face replies the man.

Why didn`t the coastguard put to sea to save the hippies, because they were too far out man.
I don`t care to belong to the sort of club that accepts people like me as members.

Offline David

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #10 on: June 09, 2016, 11:13:14 PM »
Oh AM!, that second one is so bad it's good ;D

Reminds me of...

What do you call a bear without an ear?

A 'b'  ;)
"Pressure is a Messerschmitt up your ****, playing cricket is not" Keith Ross Miller R.A.A.F., AM MBE

Offline Air Ministry

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #11 on: June 10, 2016, 01:48:00 AM »
Bloody hell David, and you said mine was bad. ::)
I don`t care to belong to the sort of club that accepts people like me as members.

 

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